Brittanaisms
by TheHFness
Summary: "Did you know dolphins are just gay Sharks?" "I think my cat is reading my diary." Ever wonder where some of Brittany's most famous lines came from? What if Santana was to blame for the mass of confusion?
1. Bilingual

**_Disclaimer- I do not own Glee!_  
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**A:N- Kinda of a little fun project to get over my writer's block! If you have a favorite Brittany quote you want a cute explanation for, leave it in a review. I'll see what I can do!**

David Martinez, the new better looking Spanish teacher, stood shyly in front of the Glee Club. "Mr. Schuester is right. Spanish will be the most spoken language in America in twenty years. It will be almost a requirement to be bi-lingual by the time you guys hit your mid-thirties. "

Brittany smiled to herself and nudged Santana with her shoulder. "I'm already bi-lingual."

"Well that's excellent! It will be very good for your college years." The Latino man nodded with slight excitement.

Rachel huffed slightly. She turned around in her chair, looking at Brittany confused. Brittany was commonly missing words up, she brought it upon herself to clear things up. "You're bisexual, Brittany. Not Bi-lingual."

"I know what bisexual is Rachel." Brittany looked over to Santana and shrugged. "Bi-lingual is when you speak two languages right."

Rachel just nodded. "Yes. I didn't know you spoke two languages. I'm very impressed with this new information."

Finn nodded slightly and offered Brittany a smile. "That's awesome."

Santana shook her head lightly. Putting her hand on Brittany's thigh, dragging the blonde's attention to focus on herself. "Honey, you don't speak two languages."

"My tongue does. Sometimes I can't get my mouth and teeth too. But my tongue almost always does." Brittany grinned, interlacing her fingers with Santana's.

"What?" Santana was completely confused. Now the whole room's attention was on Brittany and Santana. A slight bit of confusion fell across the choir room. They were used to Brittany's random statements. But this was different. She knew what the word meant, but her explanation made zero sense.

"Well think about it San. My tongue does know Spanish. You should know better than anyone. I can always make you speak Spanish, when I use my…" Santana quickly covered Brittany's mouth with both hands before her comment caused any more damage.

A large array of laughs to 'Oh my gods' cross through the choir room very quickly. Santana sank deeply into her seat. Her caramel skin had turned at least five different shades of red.

Everyone was staring at the young couple. Brittany just shrugged. "What?"


	2. Dolphins are Gay Sharks!

**A:N- I wanted to thank everyone for all of the kind words and reviews. All the alerts and everything else is awesome.**

**Any Britt quotes you love and would want explained in a funny way. Leave it in a review!**

**Chapter 2: Dolphins are Gay Sharks**

The Marine biology project had been long forgotten, well at least by one of the pair. As soon as Santana heard, 'Your mother and I have a business dinner. We'll be back around midnight' followed by the front door shutting, she had long forgotten the homework she and Britt had been doing.

The last few weeks had been crazy. Sectionals for Glee, massive amount of homework before midterms, and taking over Cheerios left Santana very little Brittany time. Not that it meant anything. She just needed to release some stress. Who better to do it with then her Britt Britt?

Santana smirked to herself as she felt Brittany giggle underneath her. She felt the blonde's arms wrap tightly around her waist. She kissed the dancer's neck lightly.

"San." The blonde spoke softly.

Santana could feel herself rolls her eyes. She wasn't about to stop what she was doing to answer the curious girl. A muffled 'hhmm' was all the sound that came from caramel skinned girl.

"What do you think about Dolphins?" Brittany put her hands on the sides of Santana cheeks, making the other girl look at her.

"They are gay." Santana grunted out in frustration, as she tried to lean forward and kiss Brittany on the lips. Much to her frustration and disappointment she was stopped.

"What makes you say that?" The curious glint in the blonde's eye told Santana she wasn't getting away without an explanation.

"Most dolphins people interact with just do shows and tricks for treats. They are supposed to be almost as smart as humans." Santana knew it didn't make much sense. But from being dragged out of a completely awesome make-out sessions to stupid questions, her mind really didn't have time to adjust.

"What about sharks?" She asked softly, leaning down and kissing the brunette on the cheek.

"They are mean and aggressive. Beat each other up and stupid shit." Santana leaned forward and kissed Brittany roughly on the lips. She pulled tightly on the girls hips slowly grinding her hip bone into her. Santana was hoping those were all the questions that were going to be asked. She was ready to 'gets her mack on.'

Britt tangled her fingers up in Santana's hair and kissed her back greedily.

"_Kurt is gay. He likes to dance and sing for applause. The football players are mean and aggressive with Kurt because he is gay but Kurt even played football. So the football players are like sharks. Kurt is like a dolphin. So since he played football he is a shark too? DOLPHINS ARE JUST GAY SHARK!" _Brittany let her mind shut down academically for the evening. She decided to let physical activity, Santana was obviously trying to get into, take over.


End file.
